


You happened and I tripped head first

by withbatedbreath (heart_eyes)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Awkward Flirting, Insecure Liam, M/M, Meddling Friends, Mixed Signals, Mutual Pining, Payzer - past, Strangers to Lovers, Textual Relationship, Tomlinshaw - implied, oblivious boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-04-20 02:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4769561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heart_eyes/pseuds/withbatedbreath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“We haven’t exactly exchanged names.” There’s a blessed moment of silence as both his mates seem to process this new information and Liam thinks maybe they’ll just accept it and that’ll be it, though he really should’ve known not to get his hopes up.</p><p>“What the fuck, Liam?” Louis screeched incredulously. “How long have you been talking with this guy and he won’t give ya his name? Sounds pretty sketchy, if you ask me.”</p><p>“It’s not that he <em>won’t</em> give it to me, I just haven’t <em>asked</em> yet and neither has he.”</p><p>“How long Lee-yum?” Zayn presses, not letting Liam distract them from the question at hand.</p><p>“About two weeks.” Liam mumbles. “I met him at Loki’s graduation.”</p><p>[or the one where Liam meets a gorgeous stranger and forgets to ask his name]</p>
            </blockquote>





	You happened and I tripped head first

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fancyachatup](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fancyachatup/gifts).



> fancyachatup,
> 
> I know your prompt asked that they meet at a friend/sister's graduation but i changed it to be puppies instead i hope you don't mind. This was fun to write so thank you for the prompt! 
> 
> My fics could not exist if not for my lovely beta L, your faith in me and constant encouragement is truly invaluable. My stories are not complete until you clean them up & give your stamp of approval so thank you thank you for that!

Liam knows nothing lasts forever but he’d really believed, with every fiber of his being, that he and Danielle were the exception to that rule. Shows how much he knows. Now sitting at the bar of some club he let his mates drag him to, drowning himself in his fourth jack and coke and being an all around killjoy—this is what his life has been reduced to. It’s been months and he still can’t seem to claw his way out of the pit of despair that is breaking up with someone he honestly thought was his soul mate.

The one person in the world that he was made to love and who was meant to love him in return, call him a sap but some mornings he still believed that. He convinced himself that Dani was going to ring him up one of these days and yell ‘gotcha’ in his ear, tell him that this had all been a terrible joke to test him. He made the mistake of drunkenly confessing this to Louis, who just shook his head sadly and ordered them another round of shots.

Alcohol was always the solution in Tommo’s mind; numb the brain, goodbye pain he always says. Only the pain never really went away, just got misplaced for a bit and once he sobered up again, it hit him like a tidal wave. She’s gone. She’s really gone.

His mates all think the trick to getting over somebody is to get under someone else as soon as possible, but Liam has never really been one for casual sex. He’s only ever been in committed relationships since he was seventeen.

In fact, he’s been out of the dating pool for so long that he’s forgotten how to _be_ single.  And it doesn’t help that things have changed drastically since he was a teen. Everything is done over social media or through some kind of electronic device. If you’re not on Facebook, you’re snapchatting, skyping, swiping, tweeting, kiking or tumbling. There werejust too many outlets to keep them all straight. It almost seemed like meeting someone organically had become obsolete, the date a passé concept.

That didn’t stop him from trying, at his friend’s insistence he’d attempt to chat a girl up at the bar or talk sport with a bloke who’d given him the eye from across the room. But each time he struck out saying the wrong thing, coming on too strong too soon to scare them off, and the few times he actually managed to score a number and made plans to meet up were literal train wrecks. He was hopeless.

The bartender comes around with a fifth drink without Liam having to ask, and despite everything having gone a bit blurry, he raises the glass in thanks and throws about half of it back in one swallow. Figures he’s got enough liquid courage in him to try talking to the pretty thing with half her head shaved that’s just climbed up onto the stool beside him—even if he strikes out, he can at least say with confidence that he’d tried, and hopefully keep his mates off his back for the rest of the night.

“Hey there, I like yer...” He gestures to the side of his own head, smiling wide and a bit unhinged with drink, making him look more _dopey_ than the _beguiling_ he’s going for, his words coming out slow as maple syrup. “It’s so edgy and cool, d’ya come here often?” He watches as the girl literally cringes before reaching out to twist his nipple.

“H—hey what the hell?” He cries out, batting her hand away, though with his reflexes impaired, he misses her hand completely, swiping at nothing but air.

“Lee-yum, did you really just try to pull _me_?” Liam draws back in shock because how the hell did she know his name? Then after a minute of confusion he realizes that he recognized that voice, and brings his fists up to rub at his eyes, hoping to clear them. He blinks a couple of times before focusing on the girl and gasps when it turns out to be his mate Zayn, who was now openly laughing at him.

“This is hilarious. I can’t wait to tell Louis, but seriously is that what you usually say when chattin’ someone up? Because if so, then no wonder you leave alone so often…it all makes sense now. Me and the boys couldn’t understand how someone as fit, sweet and funny as you could strike out as much as you do, but now it’s crystal clear.”

Liam is outright offended and hopes his face reads as much because sure he’s no Casanova but he does alright for himself most of the time, not any time recently but—in general. “What? I complimented you on your—your hair, chits like compliments.” He reasons and dares Zayn to argue.

“Yeah but…wait, you thought I was a _chit_?!”

“Erm…” Liam trails off sheepishly, which earns him another nipple twist.

~*~

Liam was never drinking again.

He said this every morning after a night out with the lads but this time he absolutely means it, as his stomach lurches for the third time in as many minutes. He’s yet to try and open his eyes, remembering at the last minute that he’d forgotten to draw the blinds in his drunken stupor the night before.

In fact it was his day off, so he wasn’t even supposed to be awake at this god-awful hour, but between his head and his stomach competing to see who can cause him the most pain, he found sleep to be somewhat of an impossible task. It didn’t help that he currently had a dog lying directly on his chest, cutting off most of his oxygen and what little he did manage to breathe in smelled like the delightful mixture of garden soil and kibbles n bits.

Loki let out a whine as if he could sense Liam was thinking about him, making Liam groan in return. “Come on now boy, lemme wake up just a bit, yeah?” Loki’s only response was more whining and tail wagging that shook the bed.

“Oh alright.” Liam relented, finally peeking one eye open “walk first then breakfast that sound good?” The puppy lifted his head to yip happily, tongue hanging out the side of his mouth.

“Thought so.”

After taking Loki around the block and back to the flat, Liam filled both Loki’s food and water bowl then made himself a pot of coffee to help combat his hangover.

Now sipping at his coffee, Liam leant back against the counter and let himself zone out for a moment, waiting for the aspirin he’d popped to take effect. While he waits, his eyes land on the calendar stuck to the refrigerator by chance, namely the bright red bone-shaped circle he’d drawn around today’s date and can’t help but grin. “That’s right, Loks, today’s a big day for you, isn’t it boy?” He spoke down to the dog, who paid him absolutely no mind as he happily chewed his food.

Liam didn’t take offense, bending over to scratch the dog’s ear. “After today my little boy’s going to be an obedience school graduate, yes he is.” He cooed, in an irritating baby voice because yes, he was one of those people.

The truth of the matter is, while he adored the little fur ball now, being a dog owner had not come easy for Liam. He’d never been much more than rubbish at training the puppy. Danielle had started, which made sense since she was around him more while Liam was at work and to be quite honest, he only really bought Loki as a last ditch effort to make Dani happy, trying to show her how serious he was about them. They already lived together at that point, so the next logical step in his mind was to get a pet, to pose as a sort of trial run for when they decided to settle down and start a family. But not six months later and here he was a single father.

Loki took Dani’s moving out about as well as Liam had, destroying every single pair of Liam’s trainers, weeing all over the flat and even leaving a naughty surprise in Liam’s blankets. Liam was at the end of his rope and actually contemplating taking Loki back to the shelter, but then Zayn had suggested obedience school, and Liam was so desperate that he figured it couldn’t hurt and made the necessary calls.

It was no walk in the park but a month and a half later Liam no longer felt helpless, and he and Loki have had the time to bond and were as thick as thieves, it actually makes him sad to think that he almost gave Loki back to the shelter, because he can’t imagine his life without the little guy.

Glancing at the wall clock he sees he’s still got about two hours before the ceremony but figures he ought to hop in the shower now and leave a half hour early in case he runs into traffic.

~*~

“Aw, they even put them in little graduation caps.” A voice says to his left, the man’s accent thick and distinctly Irish. Liam turns out of curiosity, to find a blonde a couple inches shorter than himself, an expensive looking camera held in front of him.

“Darling, isn’t it?” Liam agrees. “Which one is yours?” He adds just to be polite.

“None, actually.” Blondie admits, lowering the camera enough for Liam to catch his blank expression, pleased to find that he’s got a handsome face to go with his charming voice. His pleasure is short lived however, as the stranger lifts one shoulder in a lazy shrug. “This is just how I normally spend my Thursday afternoons, filming strangers’ dogs.”

“Um…” Liam trails off uneasily, eyes darting around in search of a quick escape.

Just then the blonde’s face breaks into a grin. “I’m just taking the piss mate, I’m here for the lovely little bull terrier over there, Princess Pig, but she ain’t mine…my boss practically twisted my arm into coming, threatened to have my head if I missed a single second. She’s the one practically preening, I swear, it’s like she’s got a sixth sense for when she’s got a camera on her and is always ready for her close up. I blame her daddy entirely, him and his addiction to Instagram, that is.”

“Well to be fair, she _is_ gorgeous.” Liam points out, admiring her beautiful coat and adorable face.

“That she is and knows it too.” The blonde muttered, watching as Pig did a little twirl for their benefit, wriggling her bum at them. “Which is yours, then?”

Tearing his eyes away from Pig, Liam searched for Loki and grinned when he found him playing what looked like tag with a rambunctious corgi, pointing him out. “The little black and white one with the, erm Batman tags.” He flushes, knowing his inner geek was showing.

If the blonde noticed he didn’t show it, face lighting up at the sight of Loki. “Oh the mini husky pup!”

“Actually, he’s an Alaskan Klee Kai, but people make that mistake all the time…” Liam corrects, and then mentally slaps himself for coming off as a pretentious twat. He quickly adds, “I know I did,” to make up for it.

“He’s a right ball of energy.”

Liam snorts. “You have no idea; don’t know how I coped before enrolling him in obedience school.”

“I hear that, haven’t got any pets of my own…had a rabbit once growing up, pointless animals them, don’t really do nothing just sit there with their big dumb ears and twitchy noses eating up everything in sight, think it was him, Mr. Krabs that turned me off having a pet.”

“You named your pet rabbit Mr. Krabs?”

The other man shrugs. “What can I say, I was really big into Spongebob back then, it was either that or Squidward, to tell the truth.”

Shaking his head Liam can’t help but laugh. “Terrible. What happened to him then, did he die from shame at having such an awful name?”

“No actually, I grew bored of him and ended up pawning him off on one of my little cousins who renamed him Sonny.”

“Well they say the lord works in mysterious ways…”

The stranger’s mouth opens in a shocked ‘o’. “Oi, keep slaggin’ me off like that and maybe I won’t be taking you to the best damn pizza shop in town after all.” He threatens, though the way the corners of his mouth keep twitching, as if fighting a grin that says otherwise.

Either way, it successfully shuts Liam up, shocked at how casually the blonde just asked him out. “Wait, there’s pizza on the table? I didn’t know that.” He plays along; surprising himself with the flirtatious tone he’s taken on.

The blonde snorts, pretending to fiddle with his camera as he speaks. “Well, there won’t be if you don’t start singing a different tune there, pal.” Like Liam’s, his tone is playful, and dare he say, flirty. So Liam takes a chance, not normally this bold but there’s something incredibly disarming about the blonde, something that makes him instantly at ease and comfortable with being himself around him.

“Have I told you yet how fetching you look in blue?” He teases, eyeing the blonde’s navy button up.

The blonde grins in response. “No, can’t say that you have.”

Returning his smile, Liam blinks slowly, looking up at the other man from beneath his lashes. “Well you do, it really makes your eyes pop.” The blonde snorts but when he glances up from his camera he looks pleased.

“That’s more like it.”

~*~

As he followed the blonde to what was supposed to be London’s best kept secret, the dogs trotting casually beside one another, Liam couldn’t help but sneak glances at the other man, something he’d been doing a lot all afternoon, not that it could be helped. The guy was fit and quite charming, with a smile that demanded your attention. He and Liam had talked a little before the ceremony began and they both got distracted by all the cute little pups taking their turn up on the makeshift stage, mostly just the two of them pointing out pups they found particularly adorable and cooing over them.

He’s not proud but at one point he’d actually teared up, thinking back to the struggles that brought him and Loki here, the leaps and bounds they’ve both made to now be sat watching his little guy receive his diploma. It was a near miracle. He tried to wipe at his eyes as discreetly as possible, but he’s pretty sure the other man might’ have caught on anyway, if the tissue he silently handed Liam was any indication.

After awhile, they finally stop outside a little shop whose awning simply read: _Paul’s_ and much to Liam’s delight there’s outdoor seating, because while Loki was definitely better about being tied up and left outside since enrolling in obedience school, he still grew impatient and lonely, so Liam preferred not to have to.

“Alright, you grab us a table and I’ll go put our orders in.” The blonde says, gesturing to the many patio style tables. Liam slips by him to do just that, choosing one far enough away from the door so the dogs won’t accidentally get trampled. “You eat meat?”

Looking up from where he’s looping the dogs’ leads to the chair, Liam nods. "Uh yeah, I do.”

“Cool, cool be right back.” He says, flashing Liam a quick grin and ducks down to pat Pig’s head one last time before dashing into the building.

He returns a few minutes later with two steaming meat lovers Sicilian slices each and two bottle waters and sets Liam’s down in front of him.

Liam takes the water gratefully, twisting it open for a swig. “Was gonna get us beers but I didn’t know if you drank or not, so I thought I’d play it safe.” Swallowing, Liam nodded.

“I drink now.”

“Now?” Liam tries not to blush, bringing a hand up to scratch at the back of his neck.

“Erm yeah, was a time when I only had one functioning kidney, so to steal your words, I played it safe for most of my teenage years. My mum treated me like I was the boy in the bubble—it was a bit ridiculous really, but it kept me out of trouble in my youth. Then I turned eighteen and the bloody thing up and healed itself, and it’s a good thing too, because I started university and wound up dorming with this insane lad, who rarely took no for an answer, which included house parties and the like.”

“He sounds like my kind of bloke, you still in touch?”

“Unfortunately, he’s one of my best mates.” Liam feigning a put upon sigh, he didn’t realize he was beaming until it was too late and quickly schooled his features because having Louis for a best mate was nothing to be proud of—shame now there’s an emotion he should feel about the pint sized menace. Figuring he’s given his pizza enough time to cool, Liam follows suit and lifts a slice up for his first bite.

The sound he emits is near pornographic and entirely involuntary but Liam honestly can’t even find it in him to be embarrassed because pizza this good deserves nothing less.

“Oh god.” He says aloud, talking around a generous bite and not giving a single fuck about the disapproving look his mother would give him if she ever caught him talking with that much food in his mouth.

The blonde hadn’t been lying when he said this was the best pizza in town. The crust was thick but chewy, the sauce just the right balance of sweet and tangy, the cheese gooey and liberal, and the meat, good lord, it was the perfect combination of spicy meats that just exploded with flavor in his mouth with every bite.

“Right?” The blonde says around his own mouthful, looking chuffed at Liam’s approval.

Liam nodded his agreement, scrambling to take another bite and groans when it’s just as good as the first. Pig and Loki stare up him from their spot at their feet with interest, their heads tilted and tongues hanging out their mouths.

“Your daddy might kill me for this but here ya go, girl.” The blonde says, peeling a pepperoni off his slice for Pig, not to be outdone, Liam does the same for Loki and hopes that’s all the other man plans on giving away because this pizza is honestly too good to share.

“So tell me something weird about ya.” He says, finally looking at Liam. He’s got a bit of sauce on his cheek and must notice Liam’s eyes on it because he brings a napkin up to wipe it away before Liam can mention it.

“Weird?” He asks instead making the blonde shrug.

“Yeah, like the opposite of chattin’ someone up. Tell me something that might scare someone off rather than draw them in.”

“I don’t really…”

“I’ll go first then. I’ve got this toe that overlaps another toe, an old footie injury I never got looked at, and well it’s quite gruesome.”

“Oh um, gross?” Liam stammers, grateful that the blonde had at least waited until they’d finished chewing and swallowed before treating him with that mental image.

“Exactly, now you go.”

“Well I once auditioned for the X factor when I was 14.” The blonde pulls a face.

“Oi no fair, there’s nothing wrong with that, being on the telly s’pretty sick in fact.”

“I didn’t actually make it to the live shows, got cut at boot camp. Simon told me to come back in a few years but I was too embarrassed about being cut. It was bad enough going home a loser the first time.”

“You got to meet the legendary Simon Cowell, though, who thought you were good enough to come back and you think that counts? No dice mate, try again.”

“Erm…” Liam wracked his mind for something worthy of sharing. “Well I’ve got two older sisters.”

“Alright.” The blonde said, nodding slowly in encouragement.

“And when I was eight or nine the two of them liked to dress me up in girl clothes and makeup and call me Leighann.”

“Now that’s what I’m talking about!” He cackled, going so far as to clap his hands together. “Leighann, that’s the craic!”

They continue to chat while the pups napped at their feet, curled around each other like old pals. It was mostly small talk, asking about each other’s hometowns and families, exchanging a few more embarrassing stories.

The blonde made Liam feel like he was Will Ferrell or something, the way he seemed to laugh at everything he said, even the jokes Liam had to admit were duds, and it was genuine laughter too no pity laughs or polite chuckles. The blonde put his all into it throwing his head back and letting out these deep belly laughs that sent a warm bubbly feeling swooping through Liam at the sight, his face so honest and open and happy Liam was almost mesmerized by it.

“My boss, well my sorta boss…I don’t technically work for him, I’m just interning at the mo, but everyone around the office loves me, so I’ve no doubt that I’ll be hired on when my internship is through. But my boss, he doesn’t even call me by my name…calls me Lucky, like a bloody dog.”

“That’s terrible.”

“Well not _exactly_ like a dog. He gets a real kick out of me being Irish, always spouting naughty limericks he’s found through Google and swears out I’m a real life leprechaun like the fella on the Lucky Charms cereal box, so that’s sorta where the nickname came from.”

Much too soon, the blonde looked to his watch, pouting down at it before meeting Liam’s eyes.

“Jeez time’s really flown, hasn’t it? Think I’d better get this one home, her daddy should be coming off work any minute.”

“Right, right and Loki looks beat, should probably get him home as well so he can have a proper lie down.”

For a moment the two of them just stand there and Liam wonders if that’s it, if he’s meant to meet this incredible man, share an amazing meal with him and then watch as he slowly fades right back out of his life again.

Thankfully the blonde has other plans and rolls his eyes. “Give me yer phone.”

“Huh?”

“Yer phone let me have it.” Liam digs into his jeans for his iPhone and hands it over without protest, after deftly keying in his pass code, and watches as the other man taps at the keyboard for a bit before the blonde’s own mobile begins buzzing where it lay on the table and passes Liam his phone back. “There, now we’ve got each other’s numbers.”

“Yeah, right. Uh, thanks.”

Chuckling the blonde bends down to untie Pig from the chair leg. “I’ll see ya around then? Text me soon yeah?”

“Sure sure, travel safe.” Liam blurted then winced at how lame he sounded, reminding himself of a nagging mum rather than a dating prospect.

To his surprise the other man didn’t look at all put off, instead shakes his head fondly. “Will do.” He promised and with one final laugh he was off.

Liam watches the pair until they turn a corner, then turns to his phone staring down at the unsaved number and wonders if it would be pathetic if he shot him a text right now, just to let him know it was great meeting him and thanking him for sharing Paul’s with him, but just as he’s saving the number into his contacts he realizes he never even got the guy’s name.

He contemplates leaving it blank or better saving him as The Blonde or something equally as original but then he remembers the nickname he said he went by at work and quickly typed in _Lucky,_ then on a lark adds all the emoljis he can find of the various marshmallow pieces from the cereal, giggling to himself as he does.

~*~

The next morning Liam is still antsy about texting the blonde. After returning to his flat the day before he’d narrowly avoided all of his mates’ calls and proposals for a second lads night out in favor of staying in and grading homework sheets over a nice bottle of wine with Bake Off turned down low in the background. But he’d barely been able to focus on his third graders’ assignments, too busy glancing at his phone every other second, willing it to chime with a new text message alert, or going so far as to grab his mobile up off the table, as if to compose a new text only to toss it back down again disgusted with himself.

Why couldn’t he do it? Why couldn’t he just grow a pair and text the lovely stranger?

Now sat at his kitchen bar sipping tea and nibbling toast he stared at the blank text willing himself to write something—anything!

Determined he grabbed it up once more, lip caught between his teeth as he moved his thumb over the keyboard only for his phone to buzz right there in his hands, causing him to nearly drop it. With shaky hands he thumbs open his messages and can’t help but smile when he sees he’s got a text from Lucky.

_Tell me something weird_

Liam stared down at the text, the very first one from Lucky and couldn’t help but laugh. Not only at the words but also out of relief that he’d actually made contact, that the connection he felt they’d made the previous afternoon hadn’t all been in his head, wasn’t one-sided. Without thinking he begins tapping out a response.

**_When i was 17 i had me a pair of turtulls named boris n archimedes who i left w my gf at the time wile i was away on hols w myy family_ **

**_I came back n poor archie was missing a foot!!!_ **

_No way where d it go?_

**_Boris had bit it clean off!!!! :(_ **

_Hahahaha that s amazing !_

~*~

After that texting becomes a regular thing for them. Liam only finds it a little bit weird that they’ve been talking for two weeks now and still haven’t exchanged names. In a way, he finds it mysterious and exciting, not to mention freeing. He’s less inhibited and confident this way, able to be completely himself or whoever he wants to be, really, and none of it can trace back to him because Lucky doesn’t know who he is.

He's just a mobile number and some random nonsense in a text.

The fact that Lucky is the most carefree and least judgmental person he’s ever met, also helps give him the confidence to be open and candid with him, he never has to second guess himself or try to be something he’s not to impress Lucky, the blonde just accepts him, flaws and all. He didn’t chew him out for his typos like Louis did, or take the piss out of him when he says something dumb, like when he admitted he thought China and Australia were close by each other.

It’s another Friday night and Louis' decided that they should all congregate at Liam and Zayn’s flat to binge watch all four Mission Impossible movies while sucking down strawberry and lime flavored Jell-O shots, Liam’s favorite because they made him think of Christmas.

He’s feeling good, a little more than buzzed and unconsciously humming Christmas tunes under his breath when his phone vibrates - not for the first time that night - and he turns his body away from the gang to check it out and can’t stop the smile that finds its way on his face as he reads about Lucky’s day at work and how his boss had presented him with a little plastic pot that he’d filled with chocolate gold coins.

“What’s that you’re grinning at?” Liam looks up from his phone to find Louis squinting suspiciously at him in the dark and it’s clear his mate has had more than enough to drink already and knows he has to act cautiously here if he wants to avoid Louis going into full blown screeching mode.

“Nothing.” He says, turning his body back towards them but still holding his phone faced away. “Just checking the weather for tomorrow.”

Louis raises an eyebrow and even Zayn’s attention has been pulled away for the film. “Now? When you’re meant to be watching Tom Cruise crawl through vents?”

“Um yes?” He confirms, trying to ease Louis' suspicions with a dopey grin.

But this only makes the slighter man squint further. “And you’re grinning like a loon because it’s meant to rain all day tomorrow?”

Knowing he’s fucked all Liam can do is nod. “Mmhm.”

“Bullshit, Payno. Have you got something to share with the class?” Liam has to fight not to roll his eyes because sometimes Louis forgot to flip his switch from teacher to lad.

“Why Liam James Payne, have you got a secret boyfriend or girlfriend you’ve been keeping from us?” Zayn throws in and Liam feel utterly betrayed because he expects Louis to take the piss out of him, would be a bit worried otherwise, but Zayn? He was meant to be the impartial mate, never really taking a side but always there to offer up advice or be the voice of reason.

“No, of course not!” Liam insists, waving his phone around as he speaks without realizing it. “It’s just a bit of innocent texting with a mate, alright?” He finally admits and he really should’ve known better or at least been paying closer attention but the Jell-O shots he’d eaten were really starting to take effect, slowing his reflexes by half time. Unfortunately alcohol apparently only made Louis faster and he snatched Liam’s mobile out of his grasp before he knew what the other boy was planning.

“Hey, gimme that!” He whines, making futile swipes at grabbing his phone back but Louis just ignored him scrolling through his and Lucky’s most recent conversation.

“Innocent, my arse. I don’t think discussing one’s shamrock pants can be considered innocent.”

“He’s just a bit cheeky, is all.”

Louis snorted. “I’ll say, so who is he? This Lucky? “

“Just a mate, like I said.”

“A mate? Babe, you have no mates that I don’t know of and I’ve never heard of any mates called Lucky. What kind of name is Lucky?” Liam rolled his eyes.

“Well, that’s not his real name obviously…he’s just Irish.”

“Oh, well that explains everything, so what is it?”

“What is what?” Liam asked, the alcohol in his system making his bones feel heavy and his brain slow to translate the meaning of the words coming out Louis' mouth.

“His blood type, for fucks sake, his _name,_ Liam. What is Lucky’s real name?” Suddenly finding his trainers fascinating, Liam mumbles something under his breath much too low for either of his mates to hear.

“What was that?” Zayn asked, leaning closer.

Liam narrows his eyes slightly and thinks _traitor_ as he repeats himself, louder.“I said I don’t know it.”

“Come again?” Louis asked, voice low and even, and Liam could tell his friend was trying his best to keep calm, refusing to believe he’d heard right.

“We haven’t exactly exchanged names.” There’s a blessed moment of silence as both his mates seem to process this new information and Liam thinks maybe they’ll just accept it and that’ll be it, though he really should’ve known not to get his hopes up.

“What the fuck, Liam?” Louis screeched incredulously. “How long have you been talking with this guy and he won’t give ya his name? Sounds pretty sketchy, if you ask me.”

“It’s not that he _won’t_ give it to me, I just haven’t _asked_ yet and neither has he.”

“How long Lee-yum?” Zayn presses, not letting Liam distract them from the question at hand.

“About two weeks.” Liam mumbles. “I met him at Loki’s graduation.”

He watches several emotions flash across both his mates’ faces varying from confusion to annoyance to anger and even a bit of amusement to finally settle on acceptance.

“Let me get this straight, you’ve been texting this dude for two weeks and haven’t bothered to learn his name? Are you mad?”

“I don’t know. I just like the anonymity of it all. This way I’m free to be whoever I want to be and it’s fun. Without my name he can’t like Facebook stalk or Google me, all he knows is what I’ve _told_ him...” With an incredulous eye roll Louis turns back to Liam’s phone, scrolling up through their past conversations.

Louis crooks an eyebrow as one text in particular catches his eye. "Right, so you’d rather he knew about the time you hurled straight into some poor girl’s brand new hat getting off a carnival ride when you were fifteen, then that your fave song is Mirrors, and that you still cry watching Toy Story?”

Liam closed his eyes in annoyance, shook his head and sighed. "This is why I was hesitant to tell you about him, knew you wouldn’t understand.”

“I get it, Lee.” Zayn whispered, reaching a hand out to squeeze Liam’s knee. “Know how hard it is for you to open up to people and it’s been even more difficult since Dani.” Liam opened his eyes to look at him, tries to read his expression and relaxes when he finds nothing but support and understanding.

Louis lets out an indignant breath. "I get it too, I’m not a complete knob…I just think the whole not knowing each other’s names part is, well, odd.”

“It’s our thing, Lou; can’t you just respect and accept it?” Louis lets out a loud sigh, and Liam knows deep down that his friend was only giving him a hard time because he cared and worried about him and patiently waited him out.

“Yeah, yeah.” He finally says, gracing Liam with a small smile. “Think we’re way too drunk for this conversation but it’s your life and I trust you, babe.”

Liam can finally breathe as he throws an arm around Louis, pulling him close enough for the slighter man to tuck into his side. “Thank you.” He murmurs just before stealing his phone back.

~*~

“I. Don’t. Care! I love it, I. Don’t. Care!” Louis drunkenly shouted along with the song, his index finger permanently in the air since the last round of drinks.

Sliding closer to Liam in the rounded booth, he not so gently nudged him for his attention, jabbing his elbow into Liam’s side. "Oi how about that cute red head at the end of the bar?” With a yelp of pain, Liam tore his eyes away from his phone just to appease Louis, even if he had no interest in pulling tonight.

“Eh, she’s alright, I suppose.”

“Alright? You _suppose_?” He parroted, as though Liam had spoken another language. “What kind of rubbish?” Before Liam could elaborate, Zayn returned from the bar with yet another round, head bobbing along with the music.

“Usher doppelganger ten o' clock.” He all but yelled to be heard over the music, nodding towards the dance floor where indeed a bloke who could pass for a young Usher has his hands in the air, hips rolling obscenely in perfect time with the music.

And ok, Liam would admit he was interested.

“Mm mm, break me off a piece of that.” Louis said, vocalizing all their thoughts.

“Forgetting something, Lou?” Zayn asked with a sloppy smirk that shouldn’t look as attractive as it did, damn Malik genetics.

“Like what?” Louis asked, grabbing up his drink for a sip and spilling quite a bit of it on his hand and wrist, which he licked up without hesitation.

“Like the fact that you’re taken.”

Rolling his eyes he set his drink down again and made a show of holding up his left hand for their benefit. “I don’t see no ring on dis fingah and for the last time Nick’s not mah boyfriend.” Liam discreetly coughed into his fist to keep from commenting but Zayn was not as polite and guffawed right in Louis' face and downed the last of his drink before standing.

Patting Louis on the shoulder. “Keep tellin’ yourself that mate, in the mean time, I’m going in.” He informed them, breathing into his hand to check his breath and smoothing a hand through his hair, as if it were ever anything less than perfect.

Liam could only shake his head as he watched his mate slip through the crowd because it was so typical of Zayn to go after a bloke he’d originally found for Liam.

With a wistful sigh at what could’ve been with not-Usher, Liam returned his attention back to his phone.

“Lemme guess, texting Lucky…” Louis observed with a lazy drawl. “And while on a lads’ night out.”

Liam didn’t have to look up to know Louis was pulling his disappointed face. "He’s on a lads’ night out too.”

“And probably pissin’ his mates right off as well.”

“Nah, Harry’s not a twat like _some_ people’s mates.”

Louis scoffed. “Even know his mate’s names…this is getting serious, Payno.”

“Piss off.”

“I’m being serious, next thing you know it’ll be time to meet his parents.” Louis continued, grinning like a lunatic at his own joke. Liam barely batted an eyelash, refusing to rise to the bait.

“Soz, all I heard just then was twat twat, I’m a big fat twat.”

“Heyyy, m’not fat!” Louis grumbled, pouting.

“S’true yer not, just yer arse.”

Louis'' pout melts into a grin and before Liam could react to stop him, he made a grab for Liam’s nipple. “Cheeky. I’m off to the loo. I’d advise you not to get into any trouble, but aside from drunk texting your Irish lover boy, it’s safe to say you’re good.” Liam nodded, though he wasn’t really paying Louis any mind as he read Lucky’s latest message.

_You know what s a bad idea?_

_Making techno remixes of T swift songs no good can come of this x_

Liam sucks in a quick breath at the kiss, tacked onto the end of Lucky’s text like it was nothing when it was _everything_ to Liam. He’d nearly had a heart attack the first time he accidentally added a kiss at the end of a text about his love for Michael Buble out of habit.

He’d actually stopped breathing in the time it took Lucky to finally reply, saying something about him being his favorite Canadian right behind Biebs and had ended that text with a sweet little x of his own.

From then on adding kisses to their texts just became a natural thing that neither of them had to think about, but every time Liam still felt his pulse quicken for a moment.

**_Lol ikr nothing like trying to bump n grind to we are never getting back together x_ **

_Oh god nearly spit me beer out laughin, for shame making me waste alcohol like that x_

**_Sorry? x_ **

_Ought ta be :p x_

_So how’s lads night going for ya?_

**_Eh it’s a bit of alright btwn my 1 friend getting on my case 4 texting n my other friend who is insanely fit btw stealing all the boys im interested in right from under me x_ **

_Insanely good looking? I don t believe it xx_

**_H/o ill sneak a pic to prove it!_ **

Liam slid from the booth stumbling only slightly before he finds his equilibrium and decides he’s definitely switching to water after this and made his way through the mass of sweaty bodies to find Zayn who was of course dirty dancing back to front with not-Usher.

“Hey Zayn—Zee, smile!” He slurs, holding his phone up in unsteady hands.

Zayn opened his eyes and immediately frowned when he spotted Liam standing there. "No, Lee-yum you can’t cut in, he’s mine I s-saw Usher first.”

“Actually my name’s Dante.” Not-Usher corrected with an amused smirk, god was he sexy Liam thought at the same time that Zayn spun around in not-Usher’s arms to face him, bringing a finger up to the other man’s mouth to hush him.

“Shh, you’re Usher. Imma call you Usher, yeah?” Much to Liam’s amazement not-Usher - or Dante, rather - just laughed along and nodded.

“Whatever you say, sexy.”

Liam rolled his eyes, remembering that he was on a mission. “I don’t want to cut in, just smile, ok?” He warns before snapping a picture, and sure enough, despite not looking at the camera and being a bit sweaty from dancing, Zayn somehow managed to look devastatingly gorgeous in the picture. Liam almost doesn’t want to send it to Lucky for fear that he’d ask for Zayn’s number or summat—it’s happened before.

But he sends it off anyway and waits for Lucky’s response as he makes his way back to their booth that miraculously hasn’t been stolen.

_Ok you weren’t lying bloody hell getta load of them eyelashes xx_

_Wait is he dancing with usher?_

Liam giggles.

**_Ushers british twin maybe xx_ **

_Yeah budddiee !1!_

_Not to be 1 those ppl who ve always got ta top some1 elses problems but I ve got an insanely fit cock blocking mate of me own who keeps scaring every1 off :( x_

_It s like this whenever we go out tho ppl always assumee we r together n it doesn t help he becums a bloody koala after he s had a few 2 many x_

**_Im sorry butt he cant b better lookin then Zayn x_ **

_Not quite but pretty darn close x_

Seconds later he gets a picture message of an attractive lad with a head full of curls and glittering green eyes with an alluring dimple digging into his left cheek, somehow managing to look good despite the fact that he’s clearly had more than a few drinks and half his face is smooshed into the shoulder of someone else—Lucky’s, most likely.

Liam can’t explain the jolt of anger that shoots through him at the sight, the reality that this mate of Lucky’s that he’s constantly going on about, sharing tales about Harry randomly coming up and licking the side of his face unprovoked, or that fact that he walks around their flat completely starkers. All these little anecdotes that Liam had found amusing are all suddenly filling him with an entirely different emotion, because in his mind, Harry had always been just average looking, certainly nothing to be jealous of. But now having actually _seen_ him—Liam can’t help but wonder if the two are really just mates and nothing more.

Most importantly, he’s wondering why the hell Lucky would be interested in _him_ when he had someone like Harry sharing his flat.

~*~

Liam has just dismissed his class to lunch when his phone buzzes on his desk. Reaching up with one hand to loosen his tie, he quickly unlocks it with his free hand before thumbing his messages open.

_Wanna hear something weird?_

Sitting back in his chair to get comfortable, he lazily taps out his reply.

**_Always ;) x_ **

_We ve been texting for over two weeks n we dun even kno each other s names x_

**_Yeah I nnoticed that a while back x_ **

**_My mates recently chewed me out about it :( x_ **

_Oh yeah yer mates kno about me? x_

**_They know enough worried you might be a murderer x_ **

_Aha that’s rich gotta tell Haz about that one ! x_

Liam can’t help but freeze for some odd reason he didn’t expect Lucky to talk about him with his mates, sure Louis and Zayn knew about Lucky. But they’d sort of forced it out of him. If it had been up to Liam he doesn’t know if he would’ve shared the blonde with them, he liked having Lucky all to himself. So the knowledge that Harry knew about him, that he and Lucky talked about him made something flip inside him, spreading a happy sort of warmth throughout his entire body.

**_He knows about me??? x_ **

_Course told him about you the night we met we have a no secrets between flat mates rule x_

Again something boils inside him at the mention of Harry and their supposed friendship but he does his best to temper down his emotions and makes even more of an effort to remain upbeat when he types:

**_Thats sweet_ **

_Yeah yeah so you re one of those then? x_

**_One of those what?_ **

_The type to get excited over not knowing a bloke s name what is it u said u do again x_

**_For a living you mean?_ **

_Yeah_

**_I never did, but Im a primary school teacher for year 3_ **

_Huh well now it all makes sense x_

**_What does???_ **

_It s always the quiet ones the ones w the innocent professions that get ya x_

**_Get you how, you numpty?_ **

_They re all innocent in the streets but a kinky sex kitten in the sheets_

Liam nearly chokes on a gasp, he’s been accused of a lot of crazy things in his life, but he’s never been accused of being kinky or sexy for that matter. He knows he’s no troll, that he’s attractive but mostly in a boy-next-door type of way, the kind of bloke you’d want to bring home to meet your mum.

But in no way a sex kitten.

**_Oh god youve got me all wrong pal if you think im a kinky sex anything its a joke im the exact opposite actually x_ **

_Ah so yer vanilla then :P x_

Chewing his lip, Liam tried to think. He wouldn’t consider himself vanilla, because when he thinks vanilla, he thinks safe and, well, boring—two things he is not but when compared to his mates, sadly he does come off as a bit prudish or plain so he goes with that.

**_My mates would say so :/_ **

_But they d be wrong? x_

**_I dont make a habit of tellin them the details of my sex life so prolly yeah_ **

_Now that s a big one if I ever heard one we re blokes, gay blokes at that there s no such thing as tmi xx_

**_Tut tut havent you heard stereotyping is for twats???_ **

_Haha you got me there wish my mate believed that but Harry is the king of…well terrible puns but also over sharing I swear I might as well have been right there in the room during a few of his naughtier exploits the amount of details he gave me in the retelling_

**_My Lous the same way! x_ **

_Oh yeah what about the pretty one with the lashes? xx_

**_Zayn? Nah hes more like me_ **

**_Private xx_ **

_Cool so I guess now I can add professor to your contacts name x_

**_What did you have me saved under before?_ **

_Mr. sexy arms :D x_

Liam’s ears began to heat up because again, he’s not used to being called sexy. Handsome, adorable—his mum even called him _strapping_ once while attending his cousin Chloe’s wedding but sexy was just never going to be an adjective he associated himself with, besides his arms weren’t that great, they were…arms. Sure he worked out quite often, so they were toned, but there was nothing really remarkable about them—they weren’t _sexy_ , not like Lucky’s eyes were, maybe he should rename his contact sexy eyes, or not since that sounded sort of creepy.

**_You did not x_ **

_I do too only now it s PROFESSOR sexy arms xx_

**_I teach year 3, Im not a professor_ **

_Shh don t ruin this for me xx_

_What about me? what name did ya give me?_

**_Lucky :P x_ **

_~*~_

After a long school day all Liam wants to do is kick back with some Chinese takeout and watch the newest episode of X factor in his queue but that plan gets shot all to hell when Louis comes barging into their flat without even knocking, demanding to be fed.

Liam would complain but knows it would just fall on deaf ears as he watches his mate get comfortable on their couch, toeing his trainers off before commandeering the remote control from Liam’s hand and flipping to Celebrity Juice instead. With a weary sigh, Liam heads over to the drawer where he and Zayn keep the various takeout menus to all their favorite restaurants, but just as he gets a hand on the handle the flat door bursts open once more as Zayn barrels through bearing leftovers from the restaurant where he works.

“Whatcha got there, Zee?” Louis asks, perking up with interest.

“Lasagna and garlic bread.” Louis makes grabby hands and calls him a god while Liam rolls his eyes, but his irritation quickly melts into delight as his phone vibrates with a new text.

_Tell me something weird_

Liam doesn’t even hesitate so used to their routine by now that he already has a mental list of quirky stories to tell Lucky ranging from things that happened in his childhood to things that just occurred the day before.

**_I have a sassy alter ego called Leeroy who sometimes comes out at parties n when someone tries to take advantage of me_ **

**_Hes really into 80s fashion for some reason haha x_ **

“This is so fookin’ good, Zee.” Louis moans from his seat at the breakfast bar. “It’s like an orgasm for my mouth, Jesus Christ.”

“What like a foodgasm?” Liam murmurs offhand, not really paying the conversation much attention.

“Foodgasm ha! I like that, good one, Payno.” Liam shrugs.

“Lucky says it all the time.”

“Oh he does, does he?” Louis asks, sounding a bit miffed but Liam just hums, distracted as he typed away at his phone.

Liam hears Louis sigh. “Sooo, read any good books lately, Payno?”

“Nope, you?”

“Catch the last Bake Off when the one guy—“

“No, sorry.”

Louis lets out a low growl. “Does Lucky actually exist or is he just a figment of your over active imagination?”

“I don’t think so Lou, why don’t you ask, Zayn.”

“LIAM!!!”

Finally looking up from his phone he finds both his mates staring at him expectantly. "What? Jesus, I’m sat right here. No need to holler.”

“But you’re not paying attention to me, too busy with your nose glued to your bloody phone…s’rude!” Liam sucks his teeth and quickly types out a final message before placing his phone on the table face down and switching it to silent for good measure.

“There, now I’m all yours.” He promises, pulling his plate of lasagna towards him.

“Good, I missed you at lunch today, where were you?”

He and Louis met back when they were in the teaching program at Uni—how else do you explain how two boys as opposite as they are ended up being paired up to room together and currently both teaching at the same primary school.

“I just brought a sandwich in with me from home to eat at my desk.” Liam admitted, distracted as his eyes keep darting to his phone.

“That sounds nice—” Louis started, happy to have a decent conversation for a change only to glare. “Oh go on then.” He huffs, gesturing to Liam’s phone, which Liam quickly snatches up with a grateful smile.

“So, how is your Irish lover boy, anyway?” Louis drawled, stuffing a huge bite of pasta into his mouth.

“He’s alright; want me to tell him you asked after him?”

Louis shook his head, full on scowling now. “Don’t you dare involve me in your imaginary trysts.”

“He’s not imaginary…”

“Doesn’t have a real name, nicknamed after a children’s cereal, he sounds oh so credible.” Louis pointed out, bringing a hand up to list each fact off with his fingers.

“Leave off him Lou.” Zayn warned, getting up to rinse his plate.

“Alright, alright I only ask because, well, you know Miss Smith who teaches first year?”

Liam’s face wrinkled up adorably in confusion. “Sophia?”

“Yes her, she’s proper interested mate, asks about you all the time.”

“She’s lovely, but not really my type.”

Louis huffed in frustration. "Oh right, because your type is apparently fictitious these days.”

“Bloody hell Lou I’m telling you, he’s real!”

“ _Who is?_ Ya don’t even know this guy’s real name, ya donut.” Louis reminded, his eyes gone wild, making him look a bit crazed. “I swear I’ll shag you myself if I have to…”

At that Liam lets out a bitter snort. “Right, because that’s all I’m looking for is a shag, not that I’m interested in making a meaningful connection or anything.”

“Well, I don’t know about all that, but ya gotta start somewhere, hop back on the horse and all that.” Zayn punches him in the shoulder.

“Ow fuck.” Louis whimpered, rubbing the sore spot. “But on a serious note, if Soph’s not what you’re looking for I might know a bloke.”

“Louis…” Zayn warns in a low voice.

Louis flinched as if expecting another punch. “No, for real hear me out, there’s this lad who I’ve met a couple of times down at the Radio one station, god I can’t believe I never thought to introduce the two of you he’s actually quite perfect.”

“Who are we talking about?”

“You don’t know him.” Louis says, waving him off.

“But I know everyone you know.” Zayn says sounding hurt. Louis reached over to pet his arm in reassurance.

“That’s true but I’ve only just met the guy…he works with Nick.”

“Nick, your not-boyfriend boyfriend?”

Louis throws his hands up in exasperation. “He’s not my boyfriend!” They all say as one, making Louis bristle and cross his arms over his chest. “Well, he’s _not._ We just hate shag.”

“And you steal his jumpers.” Zayn pointed out.

“And he cooks you food.” Liam adds.

“And you never sleep at yours anymore.”

“But he’s _not_ your boyfriend”

Sticking is nose up in the air Louis nods affirmatively. “Exactly. Now that we’ve settled that, are you two wankers quite finished?” Zayn and Liam share an amused look but otherwise stay silent, so Louis continues. “The guy’s name is Niall, he’s a new intern at the station, Nick’s quite fond of him and with good reason he’s a top lad and the best part of it all…he’s Irish since that seems to be what you’re into these days, Payno.”

Poking at his now lukewarm food with his fork, Liam tried to hide his look of annoyance. “Look, while I appreciate your efforts it’s not his _Irish-ness_ I’m into, I’m into him—Lucky.  I like talking to him and he’s well fit…”

“So is Niall, trust me…wish I knew his bloody last name so we could Facebook him…hmm maybe Nick’s got a pic of him on his Instagram somewhere among the thousands of pictures of that bloody dog of his.”

“I thought you _liked_ his dog.” Zayn asked, looking up from his own phone where he’d been taking selfies no doubt to post on Instagram later tonight.

“Oh I love her, she’s a sweetheart must take after her mum because she’s nothing like her daddy.” Louis quips, still scrolling through Nick’s Insta when he finally growls in frustration.

“Grr, guess this is the best I can do.” He says and turns his phone to face Liam. The picture is no help at all, it’s black and white for one—how dreadfully hipster - and it’s of Nick and a smaller bloke wearing a Yankees snapback with the brim pulled down over his eyes by Nick so that only his smile is visible.

And while it’s a lovely smile, lovely enough to rival even Lucky’s - what he remembered of it anyway. Liam couldn’t stop thinking of Lucky and the way his blue eyes seemed to twinkle whenever he smiled, his entire face lighting up with it and all he could do was hand Louis his phone back.

“Thanks Lou, really it’s sweet of you to try and look out for me and I’m sure he’s a lovely lad but I’m just not interested in being set up right now. I think—I think I proper fancy Lucky.”

Liam swallowed hard at the admission, he hadn’t even really admitted it to himself that this thing he had with Lucky was serious—beyond just having a laugh with a fit mate - but was a full fledge crush. He could see the emotions play out on Louis' face, could tell his friend was just itching to tell him he’d gone barmy, and maybe he had, but to his credit, Louis managed to hold his tongue. And when he did finally open his mouth it was to let a resigned sigh leave his lips.

“ _Fine,_ but at least promise me you’ll ask Lucky out soon, scratch that all I’m asking is that you learn his bloody name and I promise I’ll leave off you.”

“He shouldn’t have to make conditions for you to butt out of his private life, _Lewis_.”

“No one’s talking to you right now, _Zed_.”

“Alright Lou, I promise to either get Lucky’s name or ask him out on a date before the week is through, satisfied?” He waited for Louis' reluctant nod before pushing his plate away from him and making his way of over to the couch. “Now, can we please just watch X factor in peace? I really wanna know if the former male nanny beats out the mother of six to get to the final.”

_~*~_

He’s texting with Lucky while Louis and Zayn play a game of Fifa that both men are taking far too seriously, if the threats of bollocksing are anything to go by. It’s been nearly four weeks of nonstop texting back and forth and his feelings for the mysterious blonde have only grown stronger with each new weird but exciting facet of Lucky’s personality he learns, like the fact that he’s left handed and can’t burp or the fact that he hates feta cheese and taught himself to play guitar.

Liam knows their little game of 'guess who' has long since crossed over from fun and exciting to ridiculous and a bit pathetic, that they’ve been talking this long, sharing not only interesting but borderline intimate details about themselves, and yet neither has bothered to suggest they take things further. Liam knows why _he_ hasn’t yet asked Lucky out—he’s scared, plain and simple.

He’s never been very bold when it came to asking people out, at least the ones that mattered he’d always been the pursued in his past relationships. And it didn’t help that Lucky was so smart and witty and good looking, he could have his pick of anyone in the world, why then would he settle for some chap he met at an obedience school graduation? Why bother even looking when he already lived with someone as fit and kind as Harry?

So he told himself he’d wait for Lucky to ask him out because he _had_ to know—Liam was not at all subtle about his feelings, every day he stared at his phone willing it to alert him to a new text message from Lucky finally professing his love for him, detailing his plans to come and whisk Liam off into the sunset where they’d pick a random destination on a map, hopefully somewhere exotic and secluded, where they wouldn’t need to wear pants if they didn’t fell like it.

Or a coffee, he’d settle for a coffee date.

“Hey Leems, you got winner, right?” Louis called over his shoulder, tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth in concentration, following his character on the screen.

“Yeah, sure.” Liam mumbled, not really in the mood to play but even less in the mood to have to deal with Louis.

“Great, just so you that’s going to be me.”

Zayn snorted. “Don’t speak too soon aha.”

“What do ya mean…” Louis started to ask just as Zayn’s player scored on him. “Oi, you bloody cheat! Waited until I was distracted!”

“Tough titty; should’ve been paying attention.” Zayn snickered, and like the true adult he was stuck his tongue out. Liam shook his head at their antics and secretly hoped Zayn won because then Louis would demand a rematch, despite Liam calling winner, and thus Liam would get out of having to play.

His phone buzzes in his hand.

_Can I tell you something weird???_

**_Yes please the boys r playing fifa, im practically choking on the testosterone x_ **

_Lol bad luck that but um so the other day my boss called me into his office n asked me if I was still single_

Liam frowned, not at all expecting that, and wondered what Lucky was trying to tell him, had his boss made a pass at him?

_Which is weird because we never really discuss my personal life, hes usually too busy going wax poetic over his boyfriends arse tell the truth_

_It’s a nice arse_

Liam relaxes slightly.

_Anyway I told him that I am, single that is n he tells me he n his boy have this guy they want to set me up with x_

Liam sucks in a harsh breath as his fingers suddenly go numb, he can’t type anymore doesn’t know what to say because all this time he thought they were building towards something, that they were flirting and getting to know each other before finally taking that next step. Now he knew he’d been a fool to think that someone like Lucky could ever go for someone like him.

It’s the kiss that really gets to him, such a tiny little thing and yet he’s finding it hard to breath, inhaling slowly and exhaling even slower, he can’t believe Lucky would add a kiss after dropping such a bomb on him.

Swallowing down the bile that had begun to settle in the back of his throat, Liam slowly tapped out five simple words, trying his best to remain neutral.

**_Oh yeah that sounds great_ **

_Yeah I guess so I mean I haven’t really been looking uh lately but I suppose it cant hurt to meet the guy right? What do you think x_

**_I think…well I agree that it cant hurt n u might even get a free meal out of the deal if hes a gentleman_ **

There’s a long pause during which Liam feels his heart trying to hammer its way out of his chest. He wonders if Lucky is regretting starting this conversation as much as Liam regrets agreeing to have it.

_Well damn you got me sold after tht yeah buddie so I guess I’ll text my boss n let him know to set it up then ! xx_

**_Cool let me know how it goess_ **

_Right, sure will x_

Liam waits for more but when no more messages come through he assumes Lucky’s off texting his boss and his entire body begins to shiver and feels like the temperature in the room has dropped a couple hundred degrees.

Setting his phone aside, Liam stares straight ahead, with wide unblinking eyes looking like he’s just seen a ghost. Louis makes the mistake of glancing over and immediately pauses the game, ignoring Zayn’s cry of protest.

“Hey what’s the big idea! I was winning, you dick!”

“Grow up Zee, we’ve got more important things to deal with right now.” Making a dubious noise Zayn rolls his eyes.

“Grow up? That’s rich coming from _you_ …more important things, like what?”

“ _Zayn_ , look.” Louis hisses, gesturing to their mate and finally Zayn looks over and immediately tosses his game controller aside in favor of crawling over to kneel beside where Liam sat in the overstuffed armchair.

“Liam? Babe, are you alright? Is um, Lucky ok?”

Liam nodded slowly, moving as if in a dream. “He’s—he’s fine.”

“O-kay.” Zayn said, speaking just as slowly so as not to spook him. “Then why do you look pale as a sheet?”

Biting his trembling lip, Liam finally turned to look at him with glassy eyes. “He’s got a date; he’s going on a date with someone else, someone who is not me. All this time I’ve been waiting for him to make a move…to ask me out, but he never did—probably never was going to. I’m so stupid.”

“But you’re not.” Louis quickly corrected, sliding off the couch to kneel at Liam’s other side.

“Really.” Zayn agreed.

Liam snorts. “I am, though; he’s not exactly the shy type if he was at all interested it wouldn’t have taken him this long to say something. I’ve just been kidding myself and now it’s time to face the truth, he doesn’t see me as anything more than a mate, he never did.”

“Liam—”

Liam cuts Zayn off with a stern shake of his head. “No it’s, it’s fine or it will be—it _has_ to be. Lucky and I will just be friends.”

“Ok, if that’s what you want babe.” Zayn agreed, rubbing soothing circles into Liam’s thigh.

“In the meantime maybe it couldn’t hurt to give someone else a chance? Let me set you up with Niall?”

“Louis!” Zayn snaps, glaring at his mate for his ill-timing.

The smaller man raises his hands out in front of him. “What he doesn’t have to marry the guy just get out there again…show the world that Liam Payne is still alive and a force to be reckoned with.”

“Look, I know you think you’re helping right now but…”

“No he’s right…” Liam spoke suddenly shocking the other two into silence. “I mean maybe? Maybe he’s right and I just need to meet someone else even if it doesn’t go anywhere just put myself out there?”

“I agree, but it doesn’t have to be literally seconds after you get your heart broken.”

Liam rolled his eyes, managing a small smile.

“My heart isn’t _broken,_ Jesus, dramatic much, Zee? I don’t even know the guys name.” Zayn didn’t return the smile; instead he trained sad puppy eyes on Liam, looking as though someone had told him the Green Lantern didn’t count as a real superhero because he was much too lame.

“No but I bet you know how he takes his tea and how old he was when he lost his first tooth.

Liam shrugged. “Strong with five sugars and he was four and a half…that doesn’t mean shit, Zayn.”

“Don’t you see, Liam? So you don’t know his name, so what what’s in a name, anyway? Any random person can open a phone book flip to a random page and find his name but you _know_ him and he knows you. You’ve both shared so much with each other in just a short time; know each other so well that’s what counts at the end of the day.”

“He doesn’t know anything you guys don’t know, all we’ve shared are superficial, things you tell your close mates and that’s fine, really. I’d rather have him as a friend then to never have met him.”

“That’s sort of beautiful.” Louis said, fake sniffling.

“Oh piss off Tommo and um, maybe you could give Nick a call and tell him to make the set up, you said he’s a top lad, this Niall, well I think I’d like to see for myself if that’s alright.”

“If you’re sure.” Zayn cautioned one last time.

Liam smiled, appreciating his concern. “I am.”

“Cool Nick’s going to be thrilled he’s been talking you up all week at my request…” Louis mumbled as he dug his phone out and dialed Nick up. “You see, I always knew you’d come around eventually and I wanted to have all the ground work done when that day finally came.”

Zayn shook his head looking scandalized on Liam’s behalf. “You’re a bit of a manipulative bastard, you know that?” Louis rolled his eyes, holding his phone to his ear with his shoulder so he could flip Zayn off with both hands.

“You say that like this is news.” He cackled, then to the phone he crowed. “Babe! Project put some Irish cream in Payno’s coffee is a go!”

_~*~_

Two days later Louis texts him the address of the restaurant he’s to meet Niall at, and of course he shows up ten minutes early. He wouldn’t be himself if he was anything less, but being early meant that he had just enough time to panic, fiddling with the silverware, worrying that Niall will be disappointed or worse that Liam will be disappointed.

He’s just about to pull out his phone and text Zayn to tell him that he’d been right and it was too soon to be going on a date when someone clears their throat.

Liam looks up expecting a waitress or waiter.

“Hi there you must be…”

They both freeze.

“Lucky?” Liam asks once he’s found his voice.

“Professor—” Niall catches himself, snapping his mouth shut because some things just do not need to be said out loud.

“I’m Liam.” Liam introduces himself, standing.

“So I see.” Niall grins and not so subtly lets his eyes take Liam in. “Wow, what are the odds?”

Liam nods. “Your boss is Nick Grimshaw? You’re interning at Radio one?” He asks in awe, wondering why that little detail never came up. If it had they might have been able to connect the dots sooner.

“Uh yeah, I told ya I got me a degree in sound engineering and well, I’ve always dreamed of working in radio…and your Louis, he’s dating Nick?”

“Not dating but dating, yeah.”

“What does that even mean?” Liam laughs, shaking his head helplessly at Niall’s confusion.

“It’s a Louis thing, hard to explain.”

“Alright, so this is nuts, I can’t believe it’s you…you look—” Niall pauses to catch his breath while Liam fidgets in place to wait him out. “You look _great._ That Henley top really shows off yer arms.”

“What is with you and arms?” Liam jokes, crossing his over his chest in embarrassment.

“Not just _any_ arms.” Niall mutters under his breath, at normal volume he asks, “you mind if I sit?”

“Oh—oh god yes, please!” Liam chokes, nearly tripping over himself to move around the table to pull Niall’s seat out for him but the blonde just chuckles and whispers that he’s got it, pulling his own seat out and gestures for Liam to sit as well.

“I’m sorry if you’re disappointed.” He blurts without thinking, not looking up from the corner of the menu he’s fiddling with.

“Come again?” Niall asks, scooting his chair in closer.

Liam clears his throat. “That it’s me and not some fit stranger.” He dares look up and finds Niall’s nose wrinkled up adorably.

“What are you even on about?”

Liam takes a deep breath.

“Well I mean, you’re here on a blind date.”

Niall nods along. “I am.”

“So you were probably expecting someone attractive.” Liam points out, hoping Niall can gather the rest on his own and that’ll be the end of it.

Niall smirks looking half amused and half lost. "I was hoping so, yeah.”

“And…you got _me._ ” He finishes in a whoosh of breath; he’s gone hot around the collar with embarrassment and really wishes a hole would suddenly appear so he can throw himself into it.

“Yeah, lucky me.” Niall deadpans with an annoyingly charming little side grin.

Liam can’t even appreciate the pun as he frowns down into his water glass.

“I could go?” He offers in a small voice and at that the blonde looks up from where he’d been unfolding his cloth napkin over his lap and pauses.

“Why would you do that…did you not want to…is it me?”

Liam’s eyes widen. “What? Of course not! But I’m not the date you were expecting.” Niall looks down at the table’s pristine cloth, brings his hands up to flatten out a few nonexistent wrinkles and when he finally speaks his words are slow and pronounced, like he wants to make absolute certain that he’s understood, that no wires get mistakenly crossed.

“No, you’re not to be honest, but you are the date I _want_.”

Liam blinks. “Sorry?”

“Liam, I only agreed to this set up because you _told_ me to, tell the truth I’ve been waiting weeks for you to ask me out and when you didn’t I thought I could maybe make you jealous by bringing up the blind date, silly me, right?” Niall deflates, with a little self-deprecating laugh.

“Not silly, I only agreed to come out tonight to get over you, not that it would’ve worked I’m so bloody gone—have been since that first day when you told me about your nasty toe.”

“Excuse me Liam, Rupert is not nasty…he’s unique.”

“You named your toe Rupert?” He asks partly disgusted, partly endeared. “Nevermind, so wait, let me get this straight, you were waiting for _me_ to ask _you_ out?”

“Yeah, that or for you to give me some kind of sign that me puttin’ the moves on ya wouldn’t result in you never wanting to talk to me again—couldn’t risk that, like talking to you too much.”

“But—but I was waiting on you!!!”

It’s Niall's turn to look shocked. "What?”

“I’m me, I’m shy and awkward and you’re well, you.”

“I’m _me_?” The blonde asks, sounding much too amused for Liam’s liking. He’s being serious here.

“Yes, you’re confident and everyone seems to love you, with how easily you make friends and you’re so bloody fit.”

“Um Liam, you’re kidding me, right? I’m pretty sure you’ve seen your reflection a time or two, you’re intimidatingly good looking, do you remember at Loki’s graduation when I first talked to ya?”

“Yes, see you made the first move even then.” Liam pointed out, nervously chewing his bottom lip.

“Fair enough but the only reason I was able to even talk to ya was because I had me camera to hide behind. You’re so fucking hot, Liam…god it’s weird to actually say yer name, but it fits you…as I was saying, yeah you’re hot but it’s you I really fell for. The way you’re so easily excitable, taking pleasure in the little things in life. You’re glaringly honest and wear your heart on your sleeve and you’re just a genuinely good person…of course I fell for you. But the longer we talked without either of us broaching the subject.”

“The elephant in the room.” Liam interrupts, making Niall laugh.

“Yeah that bloody elephant, I just figured you weren’t interested, no matter what Hazza said.”

At the mention of Harry’s name Liam feels that familiar heat ball up in his belly and can’t help but blurt. "Hazza…oh god, you’ve no idea how jealous I was of Harry.” He admits, hiding his face in his hands as he feels his cheeks start to flush.

“Really?” Niall asks, sounding pleased, which is enough incentive for Liam to drop his hands down again.

“Uh huh, he’s like _really_ hot and the two of you are so close and touchy-feely. I mean some of the stories you would tell me drove me mad, I swore out you two were more than you were letting on and I hated it, because there was no way I could compete with him.”

“You’re a nutter if you think that, besides you’re one to talk with yer _Zayn_! There was a point where I thought you were secretly in love with him or summat, not that I’d have blamed ya, not with those bloody cheekbones of his.”

Liam blanches at the thought.

“What? No never! It’s true, he’s attractive but totally like a brother to me.”

“Yeah well, I bet some people wouldn’t have a problem with incest if it meant getting a shot with him.”

Liam makes a face. “Ok ew, but you really only agreed to this date because I told ya too?”

“Aye, did _you_ really only agree because you were jealous that I was going out on a date?”

“Yes.” He admits eagerly, causing Niall to throw his head back and laugh.

“We’re a right pair of gits then, aren’t we?” Liam can’t help but join him, adding a few giggles of his own.

“Reckon we deserve each other.” The two share a smile and that’s exactly how their waitress finds them, looking slightly frazzled as she greets them.

“Good evening gents, sorry for the wait, my name’s Jael and I’ll be your server tonight…can I start you off with a beverage?”

“Oh god we haven’t even looked at the menus.” Liam confesses lifting his and flipping it open to a random page, peeking over the top to watch Niall do the same. “Do you have any idea what you’re going to have?”

Flicking his eyes up to meet Liam’s Niall leans forward conspiratorially, as if he could possibly pitch his voice low enough for the waitress not to hear him.

“It depends, are you a _gentleman,_ Liam?”

_~*~_

_One Month later…_

Ever the good host, Liam is returning from the kitchen with a freshly popped bowl of popcorn and new beers for all except Harry, who is apparently on a juice cleanse. He’s barely through the door when he hears Louis squawk in outrage.

“Excuse me Nialler, I’ll have you know that Nick and I are _not_ dating, he’s got stupid hair, horrendous taste in clothes and a big annoying mouth that is only semi tolerable when it’s wrapped around my—“

“POPcorn anyone?” Liam asks, raising his voice a bit to announce his entrance.

Niall lights up at the sight, of Liam not the snack though sometimes Liam isn’t so sure. “Me, me, me, me!” He chants, going so far as to wave an arm in the air as if Liam couldn’t see him.

“Of course you do babe.” Liam smiles, handing the bowl off before taking a seat in the armchair.

“Thanks Leemo.” Niall speaks around a mouthful of popcorn, gifting Liam with a wink before turning back to Louis. “And alright Tomlinson, say I believed you, but then explain to me why Nick literally just referred to you as the ol’ ball and chain on air this morning.”

Not missing a beat Louis shrugs, sneaking a few buttery kernels and popping them into his gob, much to the blonde’s dismay. "He’s gone senile early?”

Niall snorts, which quickly turns into full out cackling as he shakes his head. “Naw sorry mate, I don’t buy it, the pair of you are just about ready to be hitched, I reckon.”

Grinning in amusement as he watched Louis' arms flap around as he tried to argue with the blonde, Liam thought about warning Niall that this was an argument that like most arguments with Louis he was not going to win and advise him to just quit while he was ahead but decided against it, the blonde had dug his own hole, he could climb out it on his own as well.

Instead he tuned into Harry and Zayn, who as far as he could tell were trading hair care secrets, Zayn’s infinitely more complex then Harry’s, who was more of a wash and wear kind of bloke.

“Maybe I should shave the side of my head?” He cries out suddenly, bottom lip pinched between his thumb and forefinger in thought, as if seriously contemplating this.

“No!” The rest of them chorus, nipping that thought right in the bud before the curly haired lad had time to fall in love with the idea.

“Why not, Zayn looks so good…”

“That’s because he’s _Zayn_ , he could make a rainbow clown wig look good.” Niall points out, speaking in a manner that dripped with familiarity, as though the blonde were used to talking Harry out of ludicrous schemes.

“Besides you’ve got weird ears.” Louis piped up, risking life and limb to steal a handful of popcorn from the bowl.

“I haven’t!” Harry whined, affronted. “You take that back!”

“No, because they are a bit weird. I thought you knew, that’s why you’ve always got them covered.”

“They’re not always covered, what about when I put my hair up in a bun?” Louis tapped his chin as if honestly considering that fact before shrugging.

“The bun distracts from them…Frodo.”

Harry’s jaw drops in shock “Did you just—are you insinuating that I am a hobbit?”

“If the big, hairy feet fit.”

Harry sputters a few beats before settling on crossing his arms over his chest and pouting.

“You’re lucky I’m not a violent man or…”

“Or what?” Louis teases, the twinkle in his eye the only indication Liam needs to know he’s trying to rile the taller boy up. “You’ll withhold baked goods and only add _one_ x to your good night texts?”

“If you even _get_ a goodnight text!” Harry grumbled petulantly, his pout getting more miserable by the second.

“Oh no, anything but that!”

The two continue to argue with Zayn chiming in to Harry’s defense because Zayn was a sucker for an underdog.

Meanwhile Liam catches Niall’s eyes from over Louis' head. Just in time to see the blonde mouth _Hey,_ which Liam returns with a bashful smile. He still had a hard time believing that that was allowed, still not completely convinced that this wasn’t an elaborate dream—a dirty trick his subconscious was playing on him by giving him everything he’d ever wanted only to pull the rug out from under him.

Shaking those thoughts from his head he focuses on Niall once more and sees him pointedly eyeing his mobile and then nodding at Liam to do the same. Curiously Liam grabs his phone up off the coffee table and thumbs it open to see a new text from Niall still with all the lucky charm emoljis beside it.

_Wanna see something weird?_

Confused Liam raises an eyebrow but nods and watches as Niall hops up off the couch, stepping in the line of fire by walking right between Louis and Zayn who are now somehow arguing over DC versus Marvel while Harry nervously chews his thumb nail, head ping–ponging between the two of them.

Niall holds his hand out to Liam to help him out of his chair before leading them into the kitchen.

“I was just in here, there’s nothing weird—”

He’s cut off by Niall pressing him back against the counter, the blonde swallowing his gasp and takes advantage of Liam’s surprise by slipping his tongue in, immediately deepening the kiss.

Another thing Liam would never get used to or tire of was the way Niall kissed, slow and languid but with purpose—that purpose always seeming to be to suck Liam’s brains out through his tongue, which was fine by Liam. If he had to give up something important to him in order to always be kissing Niall he’d do it no questions asked.

Much too soon, Liam felt Niall pulling away and quickly snuck a hand up behind his neck to keep him there, causing the blonde to groan pleasantly in the back of his throat and squeeze Liam at the waist in warning. With a final flick of his tongue Liam let him go, but didn’t remove his grip on Niall’s neck, refusing to let him go too far.

“That wasn’t weird.” Liam said, panting a little as he brought his free hand up to thumb at Niall’s swollen lips, licking his own. “Was nice.”

“Complaining?” Niall teased, his voice coming out gruff and used and sounding similar to when he was aroused, sending a jolt of heat down Liam’s spine.

“Not at all.” Liam teased back and without warning he ducked forward to capture the blonde’s mouth once more.

Things heat up quickly with Niall making these delicious sounding whimpers as Liam trails both hands down the back of the smaller man’s jeans to squeeze at his perfect little bum, and all he wants to do is spin them around so he can lift Niall up onto the counter, tear his fly open and suck him off, not that he ever would—not with the others just in the next room. But the thought is almost enough to push him over the edge as Niall pinches one of his sensitive nipples making him gasp and thrust his hips into Niall’s, feeling his semi graze his hip and let out a shuddery breath.

Calculating the likelihood of them sneaking away to his bedroom for a bit without being missed, he’s just about to suggest they give it the old college try when Louis' voice suddenly rings through the flat.

“Payno! Get your arse in here we’re trying to decide what film to watch, it’s between Spiderman and Green Lantern and we need a tie breaker!” Liam groans, reluctantly releasing Niall’s bottom lip as he rests their foreheads together.

“Guess we better get back before a full on riot breaks out.” Niall whispers, as if speaking any louder would shatter the moment.

“I guess.” Liam agreed, mimicking Harry’s petulant tone from earlier. “It’s not even a tie breaker, it’s just the three of them out there and Haz probably sided with Zayn for defending him, so he’s just butt hurt he’s been outvoted.”

“Yeah but I always side with Louis, he knows that.”

Liam pulls away to level him with a look. “Wait, you _always_ side with Louis? Even against your boyfriend?” Liam had to fight the smile that wanted to break out at the fact that he could say things like that— _boyfriend_ and nearly missed when Niall shrugged apologetically though his face said he was anything but sorry as he stole one last peck before scampering out the room.

“Oi, Tommo we better be talking Maguire’s Spiderman because I’m not having any of that Gwen Stacey rubbish, you know MJ’s my girl.”

Liam stares after the blonde with what has to be the cheesiest grin on his face, the kind of look that either made people smile back or cross over to the other side of the road because the only logical reason someone would have to be smiling like that to themselves was insanity. And maybe he was a bit mad—perhaps he was in fact truly, madly and deeply arse over tit in love and there was no going back.

Making his way back into the living room he found that seating arrangements had undergone a drastic change in his absence, with Zayn now in the arm chair, Harry sitting cross legged on the floor in front of the couch and Niall sat smack dab in the middle of the couch with Louis already taking up his left side. Noticing Liam standing there he pats the couch cushion on is other side invitingly and well, there’s no way for Liam to resist such an offer.

“So what’s it gonna be, Payne?” Louis asks before Liam’s even had a chance to get comfortable, leaning over Niall’s lap to stare at him, and if Liam hadn’t known Louis since they were eighteen he might’ve found the look as intimidating as the smaller man meant it to be, but they’ve been through too much together for it to work. Not to mention he’s got too much dirt on Louis for him to ever make good on any of his threats to him.

“Sorry Zee, but I’m going with Spiderman, but only because I haven’t seen it in ages. There’s no bias at play here.” Zayn sucks his teeth looking as though he doesn’t believe a word of it while Louis hoots, acting like winning the night’s film choice was akin to winning the lottery or the bloody super bowl or summat, and rolled his eyes, settling into his seat and smiling when Niall immediately snuggles into his side, the back of his head resting on Liam’s shoulder.

Not ten minutes into the movie Liam finds himself paying more attention to Niall then what’s going on on the screen. Distracted by the soft sound of Niall’s breathing, the spicy scent of his cologne, and the way he fits perfectly in Liam’s spaces like he was made to be there.

Before he can stop himself, he brings his lips to the shell of Niall’s ear, feeling the blonde’s slight shiver as he does.

“Wanna hear something weird?” He whispers, so not to disturb the other lads.

“What’s that?” Niall whispers back just as quietly.

“I think I’m falling in love with you.”

There’s a pause, during which Liam has to remind himself to breathe but then Niall is turning just enough for their eyes to meet and he’s grinning so Liam takes that as a good sign.

“That’s not weird at all.” He says, reaching over to poke Liam in the cheek before turning back to the film. But seconds later he tilts his head back mimicking Liam by pressing his mouth to his ear. “You wanna hear something  _really_ weird?”

Not trusting himself to speak Liam can only nod. “Sure.”

“Me too.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Hilary Duff - Confetti


End file.
